Now that I am a grandmother (twice) I can go back and reflect about my experience as a mom and look at the changes that evolved during that time. It’s not an easy task–being a mom. There is no handbook, no cookie-cutter recipe, no ‘do this and have that result’. All children are different and have their own personalities and you have to adapt and change your ‘ways’ to each child’s needs. What works for one might not work for the other one. If it happens that you are a working mom, as I was, there is no time to do everything. It doesn’t matter how organized you are, there is just not enough time in a day so basically you have to do what you can, prioritize (sometimes even prioritizing could be a task on its own) and chose your battles. You do your part and you do it with love and passion hoping that something good will stick to your kids. They grow older…things get a bit easier, your conversations are more ‘adult like’ and you can provide some guidance (if accepted), again, hoping that they will get most from seeing you interacting with other people and from your own experiences.
Then they leave home to live their own lives, study, get married and suddenly you have lots of time. They call it ‘empty nester syndrome’ (yes, it is an actual syndrome) and you feel sad most of the time, but happy at the same time because you feel like somehow you raised your kids ok. It is a very weird stage, or at least it was for me, so you need to adapt again to your new circumstances.
We change so much through motherhood – the hormones, the hectic schedules, the continuous learning and adapting, so when we reach grandmotherhood we are completely different people than what we were before having kids. So basically we are like a chameleons–changing and adapting accordingly to the specific stages in our lives.
And then, the grandkids arrive! Ahhhh… grandbabies are the best!
With that extra time, unless you decided to build a new successful online business…yeah, you can now enjoy–I mean really enjoy–time with your grandkids.
You can apply what your learned from motherhood; from your many mistakes, from your own trials and errors, and all that new stuff you found online. But, if you open your heart as you did with your own kids, and you let yourself love and care for that little person that is also a part of you, the immensity of those feelings will fill you up in ways that you could not think possible.
Suddenly, you want to spend all your ‘free’ time with that little bundle of joy that is not sleeping at night and makes a mess every time when he/she eats. You look forward to diaper changes and burped dresses and you can’t wait for that little hand to touch your face and smile because they finally remember you.
You realize that every moment you spend with your grandchild is a moment treasured, they will remember when grandma took them for an ice-cream and a shopping spree at their fave toy store. When they made pretend soup and ate it one million times, and when they dressed-up as princesses for a play. You will remember those moments for eternity, because that is what life is about, memories.
Grandmotherhood made me better, made me realize that motherhood was just a stepping stone for something greater, deeper and so, so sweet.